4 small boundaries you can practice to prevent burnout
Boundaries are one tool you can add to your toolbox in the fight against burnout. If setting boundaries seems scary or intimidating, this blog will break it down into small steps you can practice and build up your confidence in caring for yourself. These small steps are powerful and can lead to larger, deeper change along the way. If you are ready to explore ways to set boundaries in a way that makes sense for you, then this blog is for you!
How do boundaries and burnout relate?
Burnout can happen when our boundaries are violated over time. If our effort is not being valued at work, over time that feeling of anger, unappreciated, or resentment can lead to burnout. If our partners are not supporting us at home and we are getting overwhelmed, that can lead to burnout. If we aren’t given that time to do things we enjoy, we can crash and burn. These examples are far too common. Many people I work with share their exhaustion with me, yet setting boundaries is not a tool many feel confident trying.
Boundaries can be hard for a lot of reasons, but a common theme I hear is about feeling guilty for setting them. Many people pour into their jobs and feel guilty if they take time for themselves. They think they are harming clients or being selfish. People also pour into their families. A role that many people enjoy. However, it can be draining. That can create an internal conflict within people because it is hard to make sense of how doing something you love for the people you love also causes you to be tired and empty. There are so many mindset blocks when it comes to setting boundaries. We feel selfish. We feel scared. We feel like a burden. When it fact, those boundaries are what can help us keep doing the things we love. Those boundaries help care for ourselves so we can continue to pour into our jobs, our families, our friends, etc.
Setting boundaries can be harder than it sounds. If it were easy, many therapists would be out of a job. But I am here to help you break it down and make it more manageable! Boundaries is a big umbrella term and that can be overwhelming since there are sooo many things that can fall under it. So let’s slow down and break it into small baby steps! Here are 4 ways you can practice setting boundaries in small ways.
One: Take 30 seconds for yourself a day.
Part of setting boundaries is reminding yourself that your needs matter and that you have a voice. I get that people are busy. You may not have the time or mental energy to do long journal reflections or read a self-help book. But 30 seconds can make a huge difference. If you spend 30 seconds telling yourself you are great, every day, over time your brain is going to tackle those guilty feelings when larger boundaries arise. If you spend 30 seconds focusing on breathing or stretching, your body is going to get signals that you are caring for yourself. Maybe you think of things you are grateful for or recite a positive mantra. Maybe you watch 30 seconds of funny cat TikToks. Whatever you do, you are doing it with the intention that those 30 seconds are yours to spend how you like.
If possible, try to be consistent with this one. Our brains sometimes takes a while to build up new patterns so it may seem hard or awkward at first. Over time, this habit can become easier and more natural. Life happens, and sometimes we forget, so when that happens, spend that 30 seconds that day to practice self-compassion and forgiving yourself. Figuring out our needs and how to create those boundaries can be a journey so be kind to yourself along the way.
Two: Take a lunch break.
This is true whether you work in an office or you’re a stay at home parent. How it is done just might look a little different. When we have full days full of to-dos it can be overwhelming. The day can feel like it is going on forever and that 5 o clock is never coming. By taking an actual lunch break, you are breaking up the day. It can trick your brain into feeling like the day is going by quicker and gives you motivation to finish those late afternoon tasks. If you are the type of person who crashes around 2 or 3, this boundary can be helpful for you!
Added tip: if possible, leave your desk and/or office for your lunch. This is going to depend on so many factors so don’t stress over this one if you can’t do it. For those who can, I challenge you to try it! By getting away from your desk, you won’t be tempted to check emails, work on projects, or doomscroll Facebook. You get to have that time for yourself. If you can get out of the building, even better! I work at home, so I don’t go out to lunch everyday, but I do go for a midday walk around the block to get the same feeling of being able to leave my work space for a bit. That change of scenery midday helps me come back to work focused instead of being tired and counting down the minutes until I am off work.
Three: Limit draining content on social media.
You can create boundaries by the type of information you see when you use social media. If this means muting certain people who cause stress on your timeline, that’s okay. If that means unfollowing certain celebrities or brands who don’t make you feel good, that’s okay. Many social media platforms allow you to stay “friends” with someone without you having to see their posts and updates. This can give you the power for when you have the energy to see what they are up to, you can, instead of it automatically showing up on your feed. It also doesn’t mean unfriending them if you aren’t wanting to do that, but that is another option.
Pay attention to the types of accounts you follow and how you feel after scrolling. Do you follow a lot of celebs who post their lavish vacations and then feel crappy afterwards because you haven’t taken a vacation in years? Do you follow influenced who get paid advertisement deals and you feel resentful or annoyed with them? Do you follow people who post their perfect houses with no clutter and you roll your eyes every time you see it? Those can be signs that your feed is not working for you. Spend some time to go through who you follow and make sure your feed is filling you up instead of draining you. Social media has a lot of benefits and I am not here to take that away from you, it just may take some time to create that ideal feed.
Four: Think of one person you can ask for help from.
Remember we are starting small. So asking for help can be over something small such as asking your mom to send over her favorite recipe or asking a friend if you can vent. Maybe you are ready to ask your partner to take on more of the household load or you may be ready to ask your boss for an extension. Wherever you are on this journey, start small and go one at a time. Think of the safe and supportive people in your life. Maybe you write a list down or create a mental list of folks you can turn to. Of the people on that list, are there people who would be receptive and understanding of someone who wants help? If so, start there. We want to start off with people we believe will not make us feel bad for asking for help. We want people who are going to help us challenge the idea that asking for help is bad, weak, or a burden.
If you don’t have those people in your circle, look elsewhere. Maybe you join a support group. There are several free ones online or in person and that community can come together and help each other take the load off. Maybe you start therapy. Therapy can be a great place to explore boundaries and have someone join you on the journey to help take some of the mental load off. Maybe you join an online community on Facebook or Reddit where you can get support.
Start somewhere. Start small.
Boundaries are going to look different for everyone. People’s life experiences, safety, support system, mental load, and more can all impact a person’s ability to practice setting boundaries. If you want more help learning to set boundaries or to overcome some of these barriers, therapy can be a great tool. If you are interested in learning how to find a therapist near you and how to start that process, check out this blog post !
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P.S. If you are a therapist and want more help setting boundaries at work, check out this new workbook all about building better boundaries! Lear more HERE!
Take care of yourself,
Alicia Johnson
licensed therapist in Ann Arbor and serving Michigan, Oklahoma, South Carolina, & Florida!
